Those two words can capture much regret, disappointment, and sadness. If only I had said something else. If only I had not acted on that impulse. If only I was able to go back and change that moment. Scenes get replayed and wounds get opened again and again.
Isn’t it interesting how the human heart works? One moment God is clearly leading you and you are rejoicing, but the moment a challenge comes, you wonder where He is. Have we really gotten so weak that resistance of any kind makes us retreat? I guess it really isn’t new, though, is it? In Exodus 16 Moses had just freed the people from slavery. This was no vacation in the Caribbean; they were slaves. But the minute it got hard, they complained. The grumbled. They criticized their leader. I mean, really? Listen to yourselves! They even fantasized about going back! They remembered the food they ate there forgetting that it cost them their freedom. (and probably wasn’t as good as they claimed) They longed for their chains because at least they knew what was next.
But this is not the journey that Jesus Christ calls us to. The Christian life is not one of ease and luxury. It is a life of sacrifice and trial. There will be pain. There will be challenges. Your character will be attacked for no reason. What do we do? We do not go back to the chains. The freedom that He bought for us broke those. Instead, we keep walking hand-in-hand with our Savior. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Do not go back to slavery again.