I have trust issues; I think we all do. It is not that I don’t believe God will do what He said, I do. My problem is in being too impatient to really wait for it. Well….no, that’s not entirely true either. Let’s couple that impatience with a desire to be in control and maybe we are getting closer. No matter how you describe it, at its core, it is a lack of trust. I guess I was convicted by my own sermon yesterday because as I sang the closing song I thought “Lord, I have held so much back out of fear or as the result of past hurts.” Fear and trust apparently don’t like hanging out together because when fear is around trust shows up only in shallow ways, not the deep, abiding way we are desperate for.
The song we were singing “All to Jesus, I surrender, all to Him I freely give. I surrender all, I surrender all, all to thee my blessed Savior, I surrender all.” Hmmm….I can’t imagine anyone can really say that they have surrendered ALL. Some, sure. Most, maybe. But to surrender all is much more costly. And so I sang that song longing to surrender all, with the realization that fear and doubt are always ready to make me start to grab onto things.
The picture I get in my mind is this:
Let’s say you are out in a canoe and you have all of your fishing gear there with you. This is not just any gear either, this is the best gear you own. You are floating along when all of a sudden you run into something, turn sideways, and flip over. In that moment it would be difficult not to try to grab your gear before it floats down the river. But do you know what is better? Surrender. Surrender those things to the river because if you don’t, you will drown trying to save them. If you make an attempt to gather all of your belongings, you have made a choice that those things are more important than your life. But what good will that stuff be to you if you are dead?
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
It doesn’t take very long for life to flip you into the water. The question is: what do you do when that happens? If you are to trust in Jesus with all your heart, then you will grab onto Him and surrender everything else because life in Him is far more valuable than grabbing onto things that will drown you.